I was talking to someone yesterday, and they got me thinking on a particular phrase.
Namely, “enduring suffering in order to produce greater intimacy, respect and as a sign of devotion” as one of the key elements of D/s. The specific comparison was drawn to the movie Secretary, which I’ve still not yet seen.
I’ve never really thought about suffering in that specific sense. I mean, part of the appeal of spanking and pain is pleasing my Dom, or enduring that suffering for him, I suppose, to show how much I want to please him and to fulfill his sadistic desires. In that sense, I agree with the turn of phrase.
What confuses me, however, is thinking about D/s and power exchange as the endurance of suffering as being a key element of the relationship. Maybe it’s the vanilla, society “trained” version of my mind, but that strikes me as abusive and depressing. The crossover of S&m, D/s, and everyday “vanilla” relationships confuses me.