This weekend has been a whirlwind.
It started with rope and fun times, then went into a super-deep conversation with my roommate about self-acceptance and personal growth. I did laundry, had a great dinner, saw a really funny movie, and bought lots of magazines for super cheap. I had a massage, bonded with a friend, bought a beautiful painting for my mom, went to church for the first time in years, had dinner with some great new people, and had some very, very deep conversations about religion.
There are many things at play in my life and in my knowledge of myself.
I am very much a mix of melancholy and sanguine (http://armchair_academic.homestead.com/PersonalityComp.html). I like rules, structure, order, and pleasing others. I dislike social awkwardness. I’m attracted to traditional societal norms and roles for these reasons. I like preppy clothing and high etiquette. I am on a journey to figure out what exactly my faith means. I love a lot of myself, but I find it difficult to accept certain things that I know are unhealthy traits. I struggle with insecurity at times, primarily stemming from too much concentration on what other people think.
This is who I am, this is the reality of things that go through my mind. Feminist, traditionalist, impatient, stubborn, adventurous, pure, spiritual, kinky, sexual, trusting, skeptical, inquisitive, analytical, cheerful, accepting, unforgiving, adaptable, polite, friendly, loyal….these are all words that could be used to describe me, no matter how contradictory, pleasant, or unpleasant they may be.
I am continuing on my journey to discovering what makes me who I am and how I can confidently be who I am going forward.