Keep Going On

Another week gone by. This week was when things got busy and stressful. I knew it was coming, I just didn’t realize it would come now.

Work this week was very busy, but good. I got to present part of a briefing in front of congressional staff, I answered questions, and got a great review from the Director (big guy). I learned some new skills, and overall impressed my colleagues, which was good. I’m still not sure if I’ll be able to work there past February, but I got some good leads from my program director in case that does happen.

I wasn’t invited to an outing for someone’s birthday on Wednesday, which was kind of upsetting. I wouldn’t have gone, since it ended up being a crazy evening and I had to do all this stuff to prepare for the briefing, but it did hurt my feelings. It’s upsetting when none of your friends even thinks to send you the quick text/email/call with the time and place. I know it wasn’t intentional, but even so, that means I’m just that far off their radar. As a result, I ended up getting really homesick on Wednesday and Thursday. Not going home until December is hitting me a bit hard.

I also realized I spent way too much money in the last two weeks. On necessary things, yes, but still. It’s scary how quickly money can go. I need to budget better for the next few months.

This weekend was great, though. I saw Les Mis at the Kennedy Center, got to eat some amazing ethiopian food, and spent time with really good friends. It was nice hanging out and having a good time with these friends. I haven’t hung out socially with the roommates in a long time (weeks!), and so I really needed to feel included and whatnot. It’s like they are my family, and when we never hang out I feel family-less. I’ve been hanging out with a bunch of people I’ve met through the kinky community, and that’s taken a toll on my vanilla friendships.

The Fetish Ball was good, though. I got to play with a few lovely sadistic folks, and had a few lasting marks. I even teared up, which was new for me.

I’ve realized just how busy I am this week, though. I got offered a job at a retail store, and I realized that I really only have a few scant hours each week to do fun things. If I don’t do grocery shopping, laundry, errands, etc on the weekend, then it doesn’t get done and I end up exhausted with less money. I have assignments due for Monday and Thursday classes, so then I have to do that prior to class (aka Sunday and Wednesday). If I go to kinky happy hour on Tuesday, then my week is full other than Friday and Saturday. Since I’m going out of town this weekend, all my time is gone.

The issue is, when people want to make plans, when do I make them for? I want to see people too, and I feel guilty for not ever being able to hang out. I really can’t control my schedule much right now either, though, so then it just stresses me out. I can’t wait until I no longer am in school AND trying to work AND trying to live kinky and vanilla lives. It’s a bit much right now.

Another thing this week that sucked was missing the Deloitte resume drop deadline, so then I got super-serious about my job search. I’m worried I won’t have a job when I graduate.

On a positive note, I lost another 2lbs, and I bought a suit 2 sizes smaller than my last one.  I’ve got a better handle on the vitamin and nutrition angle, and things are going well there.

I’m not as angsty as this post may lead some to believe, I’m just uncertain about somethings and had an up and down week. Overall, things in life are still pretty great, there is just a LOT going on.

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