I have some lovely marks and soreness from Rapture (although the lingering soreness in my wrist, the one that lost all feeling during a scene, is somewhat disconcerting). I played with a girl – well, she played with me – for the first time. It was tame, mainly receptive of some above the waist things during a scene with her Dom, but was still fun. I met some more really interesting and cool people this time, which is always fun. Still no rope, though, which is going to have to be remedied soon. I miss it.
But then, of course, I spend almost the whole day with some friends/classmates working on a group project. Sometimes, I really start questioning what it would be like to have no kink at all, no power dynamic, and if that is something I could even handle. It sucks, because I really don’t know if I could handle that long term. Then again, who knows how people’s sexuality could develop?
In other news, my brain hurts from working on this project. People always make kind of a big deal on how quickly my brain works, how fast I can type, etc., and it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to be the oddity, and even assuming it’s a good thing, I don’t know how to respond. I don’t want to make other people feel incompetent or anything, but simultaneously, I can’t really help how I think.