1/15

I’m about to crash (4 hours of sleep will do that), but it’s been a great few days. Rapture was a huge success! I did my first cutting, which was frightening but enjoyable. I got great cuddle time with a variety of folks…I like to snuggle, and I’m good at it. I experienced a double dragon tail, which made me cry. Not just tear up either, but cry real, dripping-down-my-face tears. It was incredibly cathartic. I unexpectedly made arrangements for DO:Winter Fire, which is comforting since I was really nervous about attending alone (and exciting, since I really like the folks I’ll be staying with). I also met a ton of new people, and hopefully some will evolve into fun scenes in the future.

Right now, though, sleep is upon me. It’s just kind of funny because even after all that pain, and through loving the pain from my marks/welts even now, I just want more. It’s kind of what I feared would happen, which I might write about later, but basically the more I have, the more I want to push myself and my limits and the hotter the whole experience is. For the record, I still find that incredibly disturbing.

*Edited* So, definitely slept through the night and woke up 14 hours later. Turns out pain can take a bit out of you. I realized though (in the midst of watching photos of folks’ orgasmic bliss crop up) that despite my utter enjoyment of Rapture, I did not do anything overtly sexual the entire time. While some of the play certainly evoked a sexual reaction, there’s really just a certain attitude, comfort, and intimacy I need with a person in order to truly sexually react and get into the proper headspace to do something more than kinky play.

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