Fetishes and Limits

Most recent edit: 4/17/12

I am a very adventurous and curious person. As a result, I usually want to try something at least once before ruling it out. That said, I have deeper fears and inhibitions about some things. I usually want to either see something done on someone else or try it on myself first before letting someone else do it. For now, I identify as a bottom. I find alpha, dominant men extremely attractive, but I do think it could be fun to occasionally switch it up and let myself get a little toppy. I sometimes have submissive tendencies, but I also am incredibly snarky, very independent, and a bit of a control freak.

The list below is ever-evolving. As I learn more and work through my own desires, things change. For now, this is where things stand.


  • pleasing my partner
  • physical domination, such as being pinned down or handled a bit more roughly. I enjoy feeling a man’s strength and power
  • hair pulling or any playing with my hair
  • rope bondage and shibari
  • knife play and wartenburg wheels – my skin is sensitive and I like playing with sensations
  • biting
  • breast and nipple play and pain, including clamps and the like
  • cuddling
  • teasing and sensual play
  • orgasm denial/control
  • begging
  • spanking, paddling, and strapping – these are preferred types of impact play


  • ball gags
  • vibrators and other toys
  • bondage in general, including handcuffs, straps, and other forms of restraints
  • tickling
  • flogging
  • blindfolds
  • being made to blush
  • riding crops
  • corsets
  • canes*
  • single-tail whips*

*Canes and single-tail whips are a stingier pain that is not as enjoyable for me. I can and will play with them, but mainly just if I really need an emotional release (they can make me cry more quickly) or if I’m really looking to push my own pain threshold or boundary. Play with these two toys is more cathartic than sexual.

Limited experience with (tried once or twice at most) and would like to try more:

  • collars
  • talking dirty
  • pressure points
  • suspension by rope bondage
  • violet wands
  • tens unit
  • take-down play/struggling and wrestling
  • covert bondage
  • forced eye contact
  • choking (not choking out, but a hand around the throat that is occasionally so tight that I fight back or struggle a little is hot)

Haven’t tried but would like to:

  • remote control devices
  • candle wax
  • cupping (or other suction toys)
  • fireplay, fire cupping, fire floggers
  • ring gags
  • switching

Unsure of (things that need more trust or discussion, that have more fear attached, kind of like “soft” limits):

  • masks
  • rubber, latex, pvc, and other intensely restrictive clothing
  • fisting
  • breath play other than choking
  • figging
  • cages
  • mild objectification
  • needles
  • cutting*
*I’ve tried cutting and I enjoyed the scene. That said, I have not hit a point where I’m comfortable being “into” cutting. It is a level of edge play and self-harm that bothers me on an intellectual and mental level even while I can enjoy it and find release in it.
Greatly opposed to (hard limits that are *maybe* negotiable someday with deep, extreme trust but for now are hell no):
  • gas masks
  • hoods
  • enemas
  • puppy play, kitten play (animal food is a non-negotiable aspect of this)
  • serving as furniture
  • face slapping
  • stun guns, cattle prods, and tasers

Won’t do (hard, non-negotiable limits):

  • polyamory in a long term relationship…aka I’m not into the equivalent of two husbands or my future husband having a serious girlfriend, but I’d be open to casually playing with others while in a long term relationship, depending on the communication/people involved.
  • gun play
  • age play (and diapers)
  • cuckolding
  • watersports
  • scat
  • permanent markings
  • pony play
  • extreme objectification
  • animals
  • children
  • abandonment
  • hypnosis (in the sense of losing conscious choice)
  • insects, creepy crawlies, and living things
  • cutting my hair or other radical appearance changes


One response to “Fetishes and Limits

  1. Pingback: Day 2, 30 Days of Kink « Inquisitive Explorer

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s