3/27

I finally did my taxes today, and I feel inordinately proud of myself for it. This was the first time I’ve done them myself, and I was able to get a lot more back than I thought I would. I’m glad I insisted on filing myself, even though it was a conflict with my dad.

On a different note, the pollen count for DC was a 10/12 today. My allergies are horrid anyhow, but usually claritin keeps it under control most of the time. The last few days I’ve been sneezing/headachy/itchy-eyed nonstop. The first thing on my to-do once I’m on my own insurance this summer is to see an allergist. I need to get this crap under control.

I saw the hunger games today, which was great even though I hadn’t read the book. I will say that the initial suspension of disbelief was quite difficult for me (I mean really, they’re making kids fight to the death? C’mon.), but once I got past that I really enjoyed it. I wish they’d delved more into the use of fear and hope as political strategy. It sort of borders the type of utopian/dystopian debates that really interest me, but doesn’t quite go far enough with it to satisfy.

I also went to a BR class on flirting, which was very helpful and interesting. The presenter broke flirting down into a 5-step process: look, talk, touch, kiss, close. Thing is, closing in the vanilla world versus in the kinky world is vastly different. For example, in the vanilla world (and this is all my interpretation, not stuff taught in class) closing will either mean rejection, deferment, or going home with someone. The first is obvious. The second will either result in delayed rejection or will usually indicate a more romantic interest (getting someone’s # to plan a date, etc). The third option is pretty clearly physical only, though at times could evolve into something more. In the kinky community, all of those options exist, but then there are multitudes more options for play dates, interest in play dates later, etc.

What confuses me the most is that the signals someone is romantically interested in you from the vanilla world don’t translate as easily in the kinky community. Those signals could still mean romantic interest, but they could also be the exact same signals purely for a play-only interest, or a friend-only interest given the more sexually-open nature of the community. In this class, I kind of threw this out there as an issue, and was basically told you have to lay it all on the line and be direct/forthright, or you could go months without knowing. I feel like the awkwardness of that sort of makes any smooth flirting moot.

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2 responses to “3/27

  1. I’ve always been pretty honest and straightforward in the kink world. My blog pretty much details my relationships since I turned 18. People tend to state their intentions a lot more openly in kink…just look at fetlife.com. People write right on their profile what they’re seeking.
    I could never handle dating in the vanilla world.

    • In the vanilla world, when someone wants just sex rather than a relationship it’s more obvious to me than when someone wants play and not a relationship in the kinky world. Yes, Fetlife has “looking for” preferences, but most people are looking for too many things for that to add clarity.

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