This is a distinct list from the Fetishes/Limits list. I’ve decided to start keeping track of different fantasies I have. Too many people ask me about it, and I really don’t have much to say on the subject other than “kinky stuff.” I get too embarrassed to vocalize my fantasies usually, which kind of hinders acting them out. So, in response to the question “What do you fantasize about?” – Here y’all go.
The theme in almost all of my fantasies is teasing and denial. To preface, in terms of acting it out – I’m not interested in acting out multi-day edging/denial, as I fully acknowledge that it’d distract from the necessities of everyday life. That said, otherwise I find orgasm denial incredibly hot. It’s sort of the epitome of surrendering power in the bedroom. Plus, when the orgasm does eventually happen, it’s so much more intense.
I always get off fastest and hardest when imagining being bound (hogtie, spreadeagled – it doesn’t matter, it’s all hot, but usually rope is the method) while my lover is stimulating me in some variety of fashions (usually with a tied-in-place vibrator and his hands roughly treating my nipples), talking dirty to me and going on about how I’m not allowed to come. He’ll bring me to the edge repeatedly without letting me climax until I’m begging incomprehensibly, and then I climax incredibly hard. Variations on the theme: throw in a gag or blindfold here or there, maybe some clamps, a good blowjob/face-fucking element, some sex that takes it into multi-orgasmic zones, etc. If there’s an element of using me for his pleasure in some way, it gets even hotter.
There are even more variations on this theme in terms of context. In a car on a roadtrip, for example, with kinky twists on the license plate game and some minor exhibitionism. Underneath clothing in a movie theater, at a restaurant, or in a public park; a karada, maybe, with a remote vibrator and my partner holding the remote. In a bedroom, only with electric current causing the stimulation that isn’t quite enough to make me come. All have bondage, teasing, and begging. Throw in some displays of strength, some fondling of my partner when I’m not bound, maybe some anal play here and there to escalate it even more.
Now, that’s all kind of “tame” for the kinky world. I have gotten off to nonconsensual and kidnapping erotica before, usually dealing with some form of uniformed man doing an interrogation or mild medical themes (sexual response testing, anyone?). I like the unknown of these situations, and the struggling aspects – pure overpowerment is hot to me. That said, I’m a pretty paranoid person as is, and I already get nervous at the doctor, so I don’t know to what extent I would act these fantasies out. Kidnapping, when it’s a trusted lover, and I know it’s going to happen over the next 48 hours or something, could be really hot, but not if it’s sprung on me entirely unexpectedly. I’d freak out if that were the case.
As for other recurrent fantasies, I really enjoy the idea of prolonged nipple torture, with or without any other stimulation. My nipples are incredibly sensitive, and having someone play with them – with pain or with pleasure – for a prolonged period of time would have me begging and ready to come pretty quickly (back to the denial thing here). Sometimes though, I can climax just from nipple play, and that’d be hot too. I actually really can get off on rough, painful nipple play too. I like the idea of being a “plaything” for my partner, in that he’s using my body as his toy, and so my “suffering” isn’t his concern – that kind of all goes with that a bit (only enjoy this as long as I know in reality he cares much more than that).
So, to sum up: I like bondage, rope especially. I like displays of power, strength, and dominance. I like begging and other very light humiliation or objectification. I like teasing and denial. I like nipple play and “torture,” as well as discreet public play.
If you’ve read my erotica, most of these themes have shown up in a variety of ways. When I *really* fantasize, I usually end up revisiting something over and over until all the details and logistics are worked out. I have to figure out how these elements would be incorporated, what the context for the relationship is, etc. Then, I fill in all the sexual details at the end. I usually only flesh out stories once in a blue moon, after I’ve thought something through quite a bit.