This weekend, I went to a great class by Midori. It was a two-part course on predicament bondage and rope speed and flow. I’d heard great things about Midori, but this was my first time meeting her. She’s a fabulous presenter – great sense of humor, interactive, and she knows her shit.
The predicament bondage session was entertaining, but didn’t really get into anything I didn’t already know. That said, it did make me think a bit about motivation. She discussed reward and consequence, and how that varies between bottoms and submissives/service-minded individuals. In many ways, I’m definitely more of a bottom than a submissive. That said, with predicaments or pain, a big part of my motivation is pleasing my partner, which is more of a service-oriented mindset. For a pure masochist/sensationalist bottom, a biscuit would be related to acts they enjoy. Don’t get me wrong, an orgasm or time in rope is a great carrot for me, but I’d be equally motivated by the “you’ll disappoint me if you fail.” This is just more reason why labels confuse me.
The second class on Rope speed and flow was particularly amazing. We were told that everyone was going to tie and be tied, which initially freaked me out. I’m by no means a rigger. I know some knots, and can manage to tie myself up, but tying other people up makes me really nervous. Despite my initial reservations, it was a helluva lot of fun. When I was able to figure out how to tie something differently, I got a little bit of a rush. It was also fun to try to immobilize my partner. I was actually surprised by how much I enjoyed it…I guess my inner switch came out a bit. I think a large part of why I was enjoying it so much was how much, even with rope and improved knot placement, my partner could still get out or trump me in some way. It’s sort of like a different type of resistance play. For example, with wrestling or take downs, one person subdues the other by force, and there’s a struggle for power. I liked that me tying was kind of like that, only I was armed with rope and was kind of duped into thinking I had some control by the initial acquiescence to my bondage. The whole thing just gave me lots of ideas for different fun scenarios. The rope could always be wrested away from me too…so many options!
I also think I could potentially enjoy service topping with rope, but I’m not really comfortable with it yet. I imagine it as a play-only (no sexual contact) thing with friends, but not really anything more. At some point in the distant future, I’ll probably have to try my hand at topping through a whole scene, maybe with a flogger and rope or something. Thing is, I imagine feeling comfortable enough to do so with a female, but I’m not sexually interested in females, so it’d have to be sex-free, and that’s not usually what people want out of a scene. So maybe I could just co-top with someone else…I don’t know. All of this would be non-romantic, outside of any relationships, and non-sexual in nature on my end. I’m still definitely looking to be the bottom in any of my consistent situations, and switching would always be just for fun/play, not a sexual need like bottoming usually is for me. So, I’ll let that fester for a while and re-evaluate.