Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.
That’s a helluva loaded question. I’ve been blogging for over a year and a half trying to figure out the answer to this question, and I’m still a little stumped. I know how I would’ve answered this when I first started out in kink, but nowadays it’s a bit more complex. Anyhow, enough walking around the issue.
If I had to pick a label from the list, it’d be submissive. I revel in surrendering control to my partner. I find a man taking charge to be incredibly hot, especially when he’s taking charge of me. Moreover, I find that through submission, I can relax and exist more purely in the moment. More than anything else, most telling is that pleasing my partner makes me happy.
Now, that said, I’m very rarely submissive. It takes a very specific type of personality to evoke actual submission from me, rather than a bottoming mindset. I always try to please my partner, but to completely submit takes kind of a celestial setup that rarely occurs in my world. So, I prefer the label “bottom,” as it has less power implications outside the bedroom. Because really, outside the kink world I’m not submissive at all. Hell, even within the kink world, I’m snarky and playful, and a lot of times I like to fight to hold on to my control until it’s (sometimes forcibly) taken away from me. Plus, lately there’s been a little switchy mini-me that keeps poking her head out to say hi, and I have no idea where that’s going to go.
As for BDSM, all parts of it interest me. BDSM fascinates me, actually. I’ve explored the Bondage and S&m parts most, but I do like learning more about all the intricacies of kink and power exchange.
In general, my kinky self is best described as an adventurer and a student. I’m trying to learn as much as I can about as many things as I can while trying new things and meeting new people along the way. I’ve worked on building my confidence, owning my desires (and figuring out more solidly what they are), and figuring out who I am inside this strange, big world. I have come a long way, and I have a long way to go.
For those who like simple definitions, here are the hard facts that haven’t changed despite the many ways I’ve evolved. In my sex life, I’m a bondage (especially when it’s rope) and sensation slut who gets off on displays of strength, dominance, and control from my partner.