I’m not bisexual. The thought of eating a girl out is not hot, but frightening and a little off-putting. When presented with boobs, I get timid and weird. I’ve thought about women and sex before, but it was never a hot thing to me. I do find the female form very attractive, but I’m not as sexually attracted to it, if that makes sense.
Thing is, when I was about 10 I had a forced female encounter with someone close to me. For a long time, even the thought of doing things with females brought up that memory, which I didn’t want to do. I’m still not sure how present the memory would be in current activities.
All that aside, I like women. I like submitting to their sadism. As hot as a sadistic man is, I like sadistic women as well – I like the genuine glee and giggle that tends to accompany it. I like snuggling with women, which lends itself well to aftercare. I don’t mind being touched by a woman. I don’t believe I’d mind making out with a woman. It’s just when it comes to me touching her that I’m still uncomfortable. So, this makes it easy to play with a woman just for a scene with limited sexual interaction, but more than that is up in the air.
Since it really isn’t fair to not return the favor, I’m not sure what, if anything, I’ll ever do along this vein. That said, I find the idea of being co-topped by a male and female, whether a couple or friends or whatever, really hot. In Pittsburgh last year the thought occurred to me and was a kind of hot fantasy, and now it’s back. I think the key here is that I have to really like the people involved, there has to be a certain level of snark and playfulness, and then my comfort allows me to go there in my head. Again, though, given my hesitancy at sexually interacting with women and my uncertainty about how far I could go in terms of me administering pleasure, I’m not sure I’ll ever try to pursue this. But, I do find it hot.