Day 15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.
I was going to post about my current nearly uncontrollable desire, but realized that it fits in with Day 15 perfectly.
I want to be Dominated. (Note – the capitalization was intentional for emphasis.) I want to be controlled, ravished, owned, possessed. I want someone to get in my head and make me want to submit and obey. I want to focus solely on pleasing this person, and to surrender complete control to them. I want fear, anticipation, and lust.
I’ve bottomed a lot, but I haven’t submitted a lot. I did some online D/s before getting involved with things in reality, but while some of that did get in my head I don’t count that as being dominated since it wasn’t in person. I have dated Dominant men, but I’ve never really been dominated by them.
Bottoming is unique, because it does involve surrendering control for a scene. Thing is, usually I’ve set the parameters of that scene. Oftentimes it’s for play, for sensations, for experiences – it isn’t about the power exchange. I’ve done some pain play scening with Domly folks who had the potential to get in my head, and maybe there was a hint here or there, but it’s never been a full-on thing.
I’ve mentioned it before on this blog, but it’s rare that I encounter a Dom/Top who makes me feel instantly submissive. That said, it does happen. People get in my head. It happens with few people, but with those people it’s instantaneous. I want to please them. I immediately respect their unspoken authority. I get turned on during all types of play, even play that I normally wouldn’t react much to. I want one of those people to take advantage of that submission and play with it.
Basically, I’m curious about power exchange and I want to try it. For some reason, the last few days this desire to be dominated has taken over my mind. I think it’s because I’ve met some people lately who I could imagine submitting to. Times like that remind me that there could still be a D/s relationship (not just kinky) in my future someday, were I to find the right man.