Day 19, 30 Days of Kink

Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?

So, so many…

My self confidence has grown immensely. I’m more confident about my body – what it is capable of, what I enjoy sexually, that people find it attractive. I’m less hesitant around both new people of all types and men specifically. I’m able to flirt and tease, ask people to play, interact with strangers and create intimate spaces within minutes. This sense of self, feeling of confidence in who I am and what value that is, was something I seriously lacked prior to kink. Well, prior to the last two years, and kink was part of that (so was grad school, moving a few times, independence, etc.).

Moreover, I am much more accepting of other people, other cultures, other sexualities, and other paths in life. I have seen and experienced so many things I had no idea about before, and the increase in knowledge has only broadened my mind in positive ways.

I am much more flexible and forgiving of myself and those around me. I see more shades of grey in the black and white that our society puts forth. I know how to create situations that work for me instead of accepting what other people say has to be.

Lastly, I’ve met so many great people! Kink has been a great way for me to get connected to my community, both in Pittsburgh and DC. It has helped me make friends and have amazing experiences. Kinky people are the best! I love my ‘nilla friends, but kinky folks seem to be better able to balance work and play, which has been a nice change. They are supportive, open-minded, mostly non-judgmental, and overall the best and most unexpected part of kink.

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