Day 24, 30 Days of Kink

Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?

A lot of these things are going to overlap from other posts, but so be it.

First, honesty, humor, intelligence, and an adventuresome spirit are the most important things to me. I need to be able to trust you, laugh with you, debate and converse with you, and travel and try new things with you.

I also look for passion, whether it be about work, a hobby, politics, tv, whatever. Apathy is a huge turn off. I want to feel your enthusiasm and energy – to know you care deeply about things and are moved to pursue your passions wholeheartedly. I love learning about other peoples’ passions, and letting their passion enthuse me.

Another important quality I seek is politeness, or manners/etiquette in general. It’s important to me that my partner be able to behave in a variety of settings and interactions, and nothing is less attractive than someone who is rude to other people. (Kindness is generally underrated.) Adaptability kind of goes hand in hand with this.

On a different note, strength and decisiveness/dominance are also qualities I admire and look for in a partner. I like knowing I can count on my partner to plan something, handle emergencies, and generally take control. I am capable of taking control, and I run things and plan things quite well. That said, I need to be able to depend on my partner to keep shit together should I be unable to, or in situations where it would just be terribly exhausting for me to do so.

Kink and sex-wise, I look for people I’m attracted to, who tend towards the Top-ish side, and who are sadistic and into bondage, particularly rope bondage. I tend to be attracted to guys who are a bit nerdy, primarily engineering types. That said, I’ve been attracted to many men outside of that spectrum, it just depends on the person and our chemistry.

It seems like a lot to ask when listed out like this, but hey, it’s what matters to me.


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