I went to a concert tonight that had Cassadee Pope, The Band Perry, and Rascal Flatts. It was amazing, and I had a great time (even though it was WAY colder than anticipated). Being under the stars, outside, jamming to country music just made me think about home, though. Not home like my apartment near the city, but home like the midwest.
I miss open spaces. I miss seeing the stars every night. I miss making dinner every night, watching TV or reading, seeing friends for low key, fun things. (There were still adventures, just less frequent ones.) I miss driving by cornfields.
I’ve always been a bit overwhelmed by the city, although I’ve definitely gotten more used to it and living across the river helps a lot. Thing is, I never aspired to live here. A lot of political science or policy-minded folks kill themselves to get to the nation’s capitol, but that wasn’t me. I wanted to work in public service, but living here was where my path took me, not where I set the GPS, so to speak.
I don’t think now is the time to leave…I don’t know where I’d go. I don’t know what I’d do for work somewhere else. I can’t help but wonder if I should be considering it more strongly.
At the very least, I need to work on being myself a bit more. I see these girls at the concert with boyfriends who love country, and I want that. I want a man who will two-step with me. I want to grill outside with a good country song on the radio and then cuddle with some wine.
My issue: men who like country music tend to also be very religious, live in rural communities, or work in blue collar jobs. None of those things are bad AT ALL, but the religious ones tend to judge my involvement in kink, I don’t live in a rural community, and my white collar work is apparently “threatening” to some men.
I’m quirky, and I get that. I believe in God. I’m occasionally conservative politically. I love country music and bluegrass, reality TV competitions (think chopped or project runway), and young adult fiction. I love new technology, science trivia, dan savage, and lists. I’m independent. I love travel, writing, and photography. I’m also kinky, and I occasionally go to parties with public play, including play of a sexual nature. I’m not polyamorous.
Now to find someone who complements me in those things who doesn’t mind moving to the far out suburbs…