I spent the night painting with a friend. It was one of those deals where you get wine and paint a predetermined photo. At first, I struggled quite a bit, because we were given minimal time and instruction and had to try to make it match a photo. When I let go and had fun with it, though, it came out really well, and I ended up with an honorable mention as one of the better paintings in the class. The teacher told me I should make sure to keep painting.
It still takes me a bit off guard to get praise. I’m used to trying very hard for things, but not getting very far. I need to realize that I actually am good at things and praise isn’t a far-off stretch. I think with artistic things especially, I always felt insecure because my dad was so unencouraging about it. Furthermore, it was my sister’s strength, and I didn’t want to take away from it.
That said, I’ve always been a bit artsy. I took fiber arts, into and advanced 2-D drawing, and intro and advanced ceramics in high school. I also made and sold beaded necklaces and sang and danced in show choir. For a while, I was very into pastel and charcoal drawings. I’ve been into taking photos for some time, but without a DSLR, there’s only so much I can do with it.
In college, I lost that. I didn’t build art into my schedule. I got to be a bit crafty for my sorority, but that was the extent of it. In grad school, I painted maybe twice, and used charcoals once.
I forget how much I enjoy things, sometimes. I forget I have talent in these other areas. I’m better with imitating what’s in front of me than abstractly painting (also why photography works), but I love it. I relax, and I feel proud of my finished product. I’m not the best artist out there, but there’s enough there to work with that I shouldn’t give it up.
Once I’m done cleaning and organizing my apartment, I’m going to set up space in my room to paint or draw. I need to repossess some of my prior hobbies.