Pondering Writing

I’m debating between two different story ideas. I want to write something before the year is out, so time is a-wasting. My options:

1) Focus on mental bondage, or self-restraint — a submissive making herself available for pain, being teased and brought to the edge, then required to ask for the things she fears the most in order to get satisfaction. Realizing that satisfaction is doing what pleases him, regardless of what her state is, and surrendering to that. Him manipulating her to enjoy the things she fears, to need the implement of her fear in order to get off.

2) Charity auction. Girl has been unallowed to touch or have sexual contact of any kind for a week. At a local kink event, there’s a platform. She’s caged and exposed, blindfolded and gagged. There’s a sheet in front of her for a silent auction – up for sale is the decision of how many times she’ll be brought close to orgasm and denied (limit of some sort, TBD). Her Dom will do these teases. There’s also a bucket next to the paper – each dollar represents a minute she will be held at the brink of orgasm (edged) after the teases have been completed. There will be a live auction to determine who will get to do the edging. While the teases and edging happen, she’ll be miked so that her pleading and sounds combine with the music of the club as people play and party around them (the auction is a side event going on).

Which one do I write out? Grr. Both have been fermenting in my mind for a while. I think both have challenging parts that I need to figure out how to write in an exciting way. My goal is to choose and write one before I leave town on the 20th.

New Erotic writing: Masochistic Desires

In theme with current fantasies, I wrote a new story. Here’s a snippet:

After years of playing and enjoying the BDSM community in my city, I’ve finally found a Dom who shares my kinks. I’m a submissive masochist, you see. While many enjoy rough play, even within the kinky world my desires run along the edge. I don’t want someone to just take me hard, but I also want the wicked gleam that promises evil things are coming my way. I want to revel in the darkness, to scream, to struggle, and eventually to surrender. I want to let the pain blossom inside me, curling through me and setting my nerves aflame. I want to feel the ache and bruises afterwards. I want my Dom to exploit my vulnerability and needs for his basest desires, with a side of tender love and savage fucking.

This rather…unique…combination hasn’t been easy to find. A few months ago, I met someone at a happy hour that immediately caught my eye. He almost immediately picked up on how to fluster me; I think I blushed during our entire conversation. His eyes lit up with mischievous glee for the entirety of our talk, and I went home dreaming about his big hands spanking me as that glint deepened into something far darker. We flirted, talked, and shared secrets and joked for a few weeks before finally going out solo. Our first date was completely vanilla, but at the end, he pinned me against my apartment door roughly, sucking and biting hard on my lower lip. It was then that I realized he might share a love for the harsher side of kink.

A few weeks later, I was certain he was sadistic, although I hadn’t gotten to experience to what extent. We had gone to fetish flea markets, classes, and happy hours. Sexually, we’d been taking it slow. We’d played lightly in public, sensually experimenting with his favorite flogger. We had sex, and again it was more vanilla than kinky, but the few bites and pinches had my desire spiraling out of control. After our second night together, we were lying in bed sipping wine and feeling much more open. I finally confessed how much I wanted him to hurt me, although I couldn’t bear to look at him while I forced the words out. I didn’t want to scare him away like so many others. I didn’t want him to just tease me or spank me — I wanted to suffer. I wanted him to make me cry, beg, and plead from unsatisfied desire (denial is a special kind of torture that my inner masochist adores). I wanted him to make me scream and sob in pain…and I wanted him to get off on it, take me to the edge, and then push me one step farther.

His silence was gut wrenching. He pulled me up for a passionate kiss, his desire taking me off guard. My body responded helplessly, and after another quick bout of hot sex, he looked me in the eye and whispered heatedly that he accepted the challenge.

On a Sunday night a week or two later, my Dom and I set up a date for the upcoming weekend. I wouldn’t be seeing him until the party on Saturday because our schedules conflict all week long. He let me know that he had rules for me for the week, if I agreed to obey them. He instructed me to tease myself. I was to choose one of the following to do each day: 1) tease my nipples for 15 minutes, 2) masturbate to the edge of orgasm without going over 3 times, or 3) tease my clit and g-spot with a vibrator for 10 minutes without climaxing. I could call and beg if it became too much and he would re-evaluate the situation. I have to check in each morning to let him know which option I chose and its eventual outcome. Friday and Saturday leading up to our date there would be no touching at all.

By the time our date night arrives, I’m incredibly needy. Earlier in the week, I had broken down over the phone, begging and in tears, but my Dom had talked me down. His husky voice telling me how much my suffering pleased him turned me on further, but dulled the pain of ruined orgasm to a persistent ache. During work on Friday, I could barely concentrate on my spreadsheets. My mind kept wandering to the following night’s promised torment, and I went through two pairs of panties. A coworker even asked if I was all right since I was so flushed from arousal. When Saturday finally arrived, we met at the party to set up with our friends, and the sexual tension could be cut with a knife.

Throughout set-up and the beginning of the party, my Dom teases me with casual caresses and kisses. He has me watch some friends do a sexy scene with wax and knives while imprisoning my hands behind my back and forcing my ankles apart with his legs. I can feel his hard cock pressing into my backside, and it ratchets my desire higher. I can feel my arousal soak my panties, and a surge of need empowers me. I struggle in his arms to turn around, looking up at him with my passion clear in my eyes. After a lingering look, I force myself to lower my eyes and I mumble a plea to him. I can feel his smirk, and he grips my chin to meet my gaze again. He knows how much more difficult it is for me to vocalize my desires when he’s looking at me, and I feel my cheeks redden even further. He raises an eyebrow, and I finally stutter out a plea for him to let me worship his cock with my mouth. His eyes darken, and he simply nods. I feel the excitement course through me, and slightly giddy, I grab his hand and pull him after me until we’re by a chair in the kitchen. It isn’t exactly the most private or classy place, but I don’t care. I look up to check with him and he seems aroused and amused, so I don’t worry about it too much.

I unbutton his jeans and happily realize he’s gone commando. I saucily push him down into the seat, and while he still seems amused he raises his eyebrows again, letting me know retribution awaits later. Knowing this is my only chance to have him at my mercy, I revel in my small moment of power. I make eye contact and kneel in front of him. I move one hand to caress his balls while the other strokes him gently, my thumb teasing the sensitive head of his hard cock. He lets me play for a moment, as I fondle him into full hardness. I kiss the tip, swirling my tongue around and capturing the small bead of pre-cum. I smile at him as I pull back and lick my lips. His eyes darken even more and he gruffly orders my hands behind my back. I obey, focusing more on worshipping his cock with my lips and tongue. I lay one small, wet kiss after another down his dick before licking up the underside. On my return, I engulf his cock in my mouth, sucking firmly and swirling my tongue again. I sense his patience waning, and — keeping my eyes locked with his — begin moving up and down. I can take him pretty far before I start to gag, and I work through my reflexes to let my warm, wet mouth suck him in deep.

To finish it, go here: http://www.literotica.com/s/masochistic-desires. If you read it, please vote! Feedback always appreciated.

Cherry Blossom Love Affair

I may have gone overboard with my photo-taking this evening, but it was so pretty!  Great friends, great weather, and DC springtime made for a fantastic birthday.

Movie Night In

At some point soon, I’m going to do some form of real update. I’ve had a lot going on and a lot is on my mind.

For the time being, however, I’ll keep it brief. Several months ago I alluded to a fantasy I’ve been having about a kinky movie/date night. There have been many variations on that theme, and the details have been altered frequently. I finally wrote it all down, and published the product on Lit. You can read it by clicking the link to “My erotic stories” on the right, or here: http://www.literotica.com/s/movie-night-in.

Tears for America ~ Original Song

This is a song I wrote for a lyrics contest back when I was in high school, I think in 2005…wow 6 years ago. I still think the topic is relevant, and I’m pretty proud of the piece. It’d make a good country song, I think.


Tears For America

He boarded the plane,

Suitcase in his hand.

He turned around and met my eyes,

Gave me one last loving glance.

And I beg God to keep him safe –

Please bring him back unscathed.


I pray for the children

Living with no guarantee;

They may never meet their parents

In combat overseas.

And I pray for our country,

That we’ll erase the divide.

Will it ever really be worth it

The lives lost, the parents died?


People don’t take pride in hard work,

They don’t ever lend a hand.

Though we’re at war overseas

There’s more war in our homeland.

So I’m crying for America –

My country ‘tis of thee.

We must come together

If we want to be free.