Current Focuses (foci?)

What I’m focusing on in order to keep my mind occupied…

  • using myfitnesspal (app and online) as a food diary and exercise log, focusing on eating healthily and going to the gym or incorporating fitness where I can
  • educating myself on personal finance and keeping a strict budget, budget plan, and monitoring investments and overall financial portfolio
  • getting up to speed on “once upon a time”
  • maintaining routines, which for me includes book club, game night with grilling, and sunday errands
  • vacations and travel…dad coming to town, going to surprise him for his birthday, going to mexico for a week, going to boston for thanksgiving
  • staying organized in all facets of life
  • reading more, of all kinds – magazines, news, blogs/RSS, books
  • looking up classes to take with people – cooking for one friend, intellectual for the boyfriend, and artsy for another friend
  • getting my car up to date, including the GM recall, maintenance/preventative care, cleaning, etc.

If you have suggestions on things I can make into routines or make routine in my life, or things I could do to take my mind off things (preferably that are not food oriented and are inexpensive, and ideally, that can be done in 1-2 hours).

6 Month Check In on Goals

My theme for the year is “Healthy,” and given that we’re approaching the end of 6 months of the year (aka half-way point), it’s time to evaluate on things.

I’ve definitely achieved some professional and financial goals. I’m paying off my car this upcoming weekend, and I’ve moved to a less expensive place which will reduce expenses. I’ve gotten my raise at work and I’ve gotten good reviews at the office. I haven’t been blogging as much as I intended, which I hope to remedy. I also haven’t had game nights in quite some time, and I really notice it – I feel off kilter now that my routine has been mucked with. We start back up again in a week or two, though, so that should go back to normal.

I think I’ve been gossiping less this year, if only because of a change in office environments. I’ve been working hard to respond to texts and such more quickly, although since I’m not the recipient it’s hard to know if that’s working. My posture still sucks, and I haven’t been going to the gym regularly or cooking at home enough.

I want to buy personal training sessions with the trainer in my apartment complex, but can’t afford it quite yet. I intend to save enough for 2-3 months of sessions, and then sit down to come up with a plan with their wellness coach/planner guy. It’s convenient, and I really like their whole-of-health approach, so I’m excited for it. I need the accountability, and I’d like actual training when it comes to circuits and form.

In the meantime, I don’t want to be desperately out of shape in my first sessions, so I’ve agreed with my roommate to wake up extra early to get to the gym before work. This means a 5:30am wakeup, which BLOWS, but I think it’ll be worth it. I’ve been making a playlist tonight and it’s awesome.

Really, I want to feel in better shape, to be able to do  more interesting sex positions (sometimes I feel like I’m not putting in enough work in the sack, so hopefully this would help change that), to be able to do more active things like hiking with friends that are far more athletic than I, and of course, to fit into some cute clothes that don’t work right now. Here’s hoping I can get a handle on it all.

2014 Goal Setting

First, some things I’d like to continue:

  • Keeping a weekly gratitude journal. This year, I’d like to capture Sunday – Saturday, instead of Tuesday – Monday.
  • Weekly game and dinner nights with my best friends.
  • Blogging regularly.
  • Using goodreads to track what I’m reading and how frequently I read.
  • Regularly utilizing my RSS reader to stay up to date on technology, design, politics, cooking, and more.

Second, my overarching theme for the year is going to be “Healthy.” I want to focus on being healthier in spirit, mind, and body.

I’ve done a lot of reading this year on habits and willpower, and it requires too much energy to successfully complete a list of goals. I want to focus on bringing health into every part of my life, and then fundamentally on working out more to get in awesome shape. That’s it – that’s my one goal. In theory, in two months, it should be a habit and then I can move on to other ways to bring health into my life.

I’m still going to make a list of things I hope to do or accomplish, but I’m not going to actively work on those things. I spent a lot of time trying new things, visiting new places, etc. with friends to cross things off lists. I had a great year, but I spent too much money, gained weight, and was at a much higher level of stress.

So, first goal: get fit. Strength train every weeknight for about 10 minutes, and do calisthenics for another 10. Go to the gym at least 3x a week. Try to do more active things with friends.

Other ways to be healthy, should I make the above a habit, or to generally keep in mind:

  • Gossip less.
  • Volunteer or donate time and money to charity – give back.
  • Cook at home more.
  • Have better posture.
  • Don’t get lazy with hair/makeup routines.
  • Use mouthwash more regularly.

Outside my theme, below are things that I’m hoping to do in the next year anyway, but am not going to freak out or constantly work towards.

  • pay off credit cards and keep them paid off
  • save enough for three months expenses and an extra $1,000 (roughly $5,500)
  • pay off my car
  • read 50 books
  • clean out all of my material possessions and organize things better
  • get matching towels to replace mismatched current ones
  • learn to cook macarons, thai curry, and coq au vin/beef (the last using my french oven)
  • get a raise at my 6 month and 12 month reviews, as I am supposed to
  • write an erotic story
  • answer texts more promptly
  • write handwritten letters to close friends on their birthdays
  • store all online passwords somewhere
  • try the church my friend’s visit on Capital Hill, or attend a universalist service.

Local things I’d like to do:

  • See a show at Ford’s Theater
  • See a show at Shakespeare Theater
  • See a concert at 9:30 club
  • Go to stand-up open mic night at Arlington Drafthouse
  • Visit the Crime Museum
  • Visit the Botanical Gardens
  • See a military band concert
  • Check out a roller derby event
  • Visit Atlantic City, Ocean City, Virginia Beach, or Williamsburg

Discipline: I lack it.

I lack it.

Don’t get me wrong, I get shit done. I know very well how to accomplish things, and I am good at achieving the goals I’ve set (even if it takes dogged persistence to get there). That said, when it comes to exceeding my goals, I often fall short.

I have a very rigid set of standards for myself. In addition to that, I have a level of success I want to achieve in order to maximize my happiness. I am good at achieving the latter, but not always the former. For example, I know I want to make Dean’s List or Honor Roll and I do so, but I get the minimum grade necessary to do so. The standard would be to get a 4.0.  Often, I prioritize happiness or fun over reaching certain ideals as long as I’ve achieved a certain level of success.

This trend is carrying over into life, and it worries me in terms of long-term happiness. I’m doing well at work, with family, with friends, etc. I’m living my life and I’m not unhappy with things. That said, I could (and should) be working out regularly, planning meals more regularly, reading more, maintaining better contact with loved ones, spending less money, and spending more time at home. Basically, I need to prioritize taking care of and bettering myself over fun sometimes…and I lack the discipline to do so. Not doing so isn’t penalizing me (I have enough money, no one is mad at me, I’m eating meals, I’m healthy)…but it is in the long run. My health won’t last forever, and it would serve me to have more money saved. I’d be more focused and less stressed were I to spend more time at home.

A lot of my lack of discipline comes from not wanting to do things alone or not wanting to say no to things. I want to spend time with my friends living life to the fullest. That’s not a crime, but I need to feel more empowered by taking care of myself.

Often, I long for a Dominant because I’d love to entrust someone to keep me accountable. Friends keep me accountable sometimes, but not always. The size of this city doesn’t really help out in that – it’s hard to have a gym buddy when potential ones live 30 minutes away. I don’t want someone to create goals for me and hold me to them, train me to be a different person…but someone assisting in behavior modification at my initiative to help me achieve my goals – that’d be awesome.

Anyhow, I will say that at the very least I have two routines in my life. I have few routines normally, other than going to work. Seriously – I haven’t had routines in forever. For the last several months, however, I’ve spent every Sunday night with my roommate watching Game of Thrones and every Tuesday night potlucking and playing games with two other friends (Settlers of Catan, Kingdom Builders, and Dominion are our frequent games). It may seem minor, but this consistency has done wonders for my life and sense of self.

Moral of this story: I need a meal planning routine and a workout routine.

Goals and New Year – 2013

Overarching goals: get in better shape, get more organized, take more time to myself, focus on my hobbies more. See below for metrics/how to.

Fitness and Health:

  • Participate fully in my friend’s charity weight loss challenge as a tracking mechanism.
  • 156 times to the gym or 4,680 minutes of cardio, whichever comes first.  (This equates to 3 times a week for 30 minutes each time. Could go less times but work out longer, or more times but work out less.)
  • Register for, train for, and actually complete a 5K.
  • No electronics after 11:30pm.
  • Drink water every morning first thing and with dinner.

Organizing Life:

  • Create a budget and stick to it in order to (1) pay of all of my credit cards and (2) save at least $1,000. Consider using Mint as a helpful tool. Also, enforce by taking out cash at the beginning of every month and using that for any entertainment, food, shopping, going out. Use debit card for gas, online-only purchases (amazon/itunes), and grocery shopping. Manage online credit card statements and eliminate unnecessary monthly charges.
  • Friend organizing: Collect and organize addresses, phone numbers, and contact information for all friends can think of.
  • Digital organizing: Collect and organize online bookmarks, clean up sites I follow in my google reader, compile all passwords, organize saved documents & photos on my computer.

Time to self and focusing on hobbies:

  • Stay at home 2 nights each week. Can substitute for hanging out at someone’s house. Need this time for laundry, cleaning, groceries, cooking for week, working out.
  • Take 52 photos.
  • Write at least one short erotic story.
  • Create Kinky&Awkward website or blog, fill with moments.
  • Go to at least one never-been-before destination, either domestically or internationally.

Kinky Goals:

  • Learn more about rope from the top perspective: sommerville bowline, double coin, TK, decorative karadas.
  • Acquire a flogger and learn to properly use it.
  • Continue to improve my “saying no” skills when it comes to pick up play and negotiations.
  • Have good sex with someone I care about, whom I lust for, and whose company I enjoy. Part and parcel, more blowjobs and orgasms! Again, all safely, with carefully considered partners.
  • Watch the movie Secretary, finally. Preferably while tied up.
  • Experience wax play as a bottom.
  • Try cupping and/or fire cupping.

To-Do Activities:

  • snow tubing
  • kayaking
  • cooking class
  • racquetball
  • bingo at a bingo place
  • National Zoo
  • Botanical Gardens
  • Twilight Polo
  • Williamsburg
  • Dancing at Glen Echo
  • Hiking/Walking/Photography in Great Falls or Rock Creek Park
  • Military band concert
  • Ocean City/Atlantic City/Virginia Beach – visit one
  • Top Golf
  • DC Rollergirls or Charm City Rollergirls
  • The Mansion on O St
  • Spa World
  • Museum of Crime and Punishment