We didn’t win the competition, unfortunately. We made top 5 out of 23 ,which I’m happy about, but no cash prize :(.
I reserved a penske truck today and figured out tv/internet for next year. I move 5 weeks from today…time is FLYING.
I have to write a 2-4pg paper defining global climate change…not an easy feat. I’m currently procrasinating (shocker, right?).
It was 85 degrees today – amazingly beautiful. Nothing like sunshine to cheer you up!
Last night I went to a munch that had an objectification demo, and then afterwards to a play party. The objectification demo made me think. In some ways, I think objectification is demeaning, humiliating, and it almost angers me. In other ways, I find it incredibly arousing. Serving as furniture, for example, bothers me, but one-on-one could possibly work out. Serving as some form of grope toy, again in private, I think would be very hot. Serving as a platter for food or something, either in private or with just one other couple, would be embarrassing and difficult for me, but also is kind of arousing. As with many things, I feel like it is something I’d have to approach with just the right kind of attitude with a Dom I very much trusted/cared for. Being someone’s christmas toy to decorate with tinsel and what not is humiliating, but not necessarily in a bad way as long as it isn’t done in a “making fun of you” sort of way or to laugh at me.
Anyhow, we went to a play party afterwards which was good. I got to experience a beating by the same Dom who really pushed my limits at the 4P and with nipple torment. I’m still crazy surprised by how much I love pain. I was shaking/shuddering for a good hour or so after we stopped playing. Moreover, I actually entered subspace, which was a first for me. It’s like things just stopped hurting for a little bit, talking got difficult, and things were just very pleasant. I came out of it a bit from talking with the Dom, which was probably good because I don’t know if I’d be able to safeword in that headspace.
I was a bit hesitant to play at first because no one else had started yet, and I’m not really a big exhibitionist. Making noise/reacting in front of others is hard for me. That said, on a cross it was easier because I wasn’t facing anyone, background music was loud enough to drown out others, and the Dom was more personal which kept things good. I also appreciate his ability to read the sub he’s playing with. For example, as I said, reacting in front of others is more difficult for me, I get more shy/nervous and embarrassed. I’m getting better at it, but it’s still hard. He started to encourage me to cry out and push for a reaction, but when he realized I wasn’t purposely holding back, he understood what was going on and switched tactics. I wish more people were that aware and willing to read their play partners.
I still can’t wait to try hard-core pain with more extreme restraints. I love being tied up in rope unable to move, and I love the pain…I can only imagine what it’d be like together. I’ve also been teased just enough to be very curious about tickle torture. I’m more ticklish than I ever realized before, and I find the sheer helplessness of tickling to be very hot.
I also met some great people I hadn’t met before, which was fun. The crowd was very positive, friendly, and intimate, which was right up my alley. People gave you space if you needed it, and were quick to laugh. Since I didn’t know many people going in, I appreciated that a lot. I am starting to feel very, very comfortable with the kink community and folks here…which sucks, in a way, since I’m leaving in 5 weeks.
3 weeks til classes are over, 4 weeks til finals are over, and 5 weeks til I move to DC. EEP.
So much schoolwork in that time period, though!
For my own organizational purposes:
This week, I have a blog entry, exam, and paper due. Then I have a week of nothing just a blog entry. The third week I have two group presentations, one group paper (5-7 pages double spaced), one individual paper (5-7 pgs, double spaced), and a group project (max 10 pgs, single spaced). The last week, finals week, I have two group papers (one with a 15 pg double spaced minimum, the other with a 15 page double spaced max), and 4 exams. But, one of the exams is open book/notes, and two others I get “cheat sheets.” And of course, none of this included any of the reading I’m supposed to be doing.