Thoughts

I have some lovely marks and soreness from Rapture (although the lingering soreness in my wrist, the one that lost all feeling during a scene, is somewhat disconcerting). I played with a girl – well, she played with me – for the first time. It was tame, mainly receptive of some above the waist things during a scene with her Dom, but was still fun. I met some more really interesting and cool people this time, which is always fun. Still no rope, though, which is going to have to be remedied soon. I miss it.

But then, of course, I spend almost the whole day with some friends/classmates working on a group project. Sometimes, I really start questioning what it would be like to have no kink at all, no power dynamic, and if that is something I could even handle. It sucks, because I really don’t know if I could handle that long term. Then again, who knows how people’s sexuality could develop?

In other news, my brain hurts from working on this project. People always make kind of a big deal on how quickly my brain works, how fast I can type, etc., and it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to be the oddity, and even assuming it’s a good thing, I don’t know how to respond. I don’t want to make other people feel incompetent or anything, but simultaneously, I can’t really help how I think.

Another First

Had my first experience with nipple torture last night…and I loved it. Even when I hated it, I still craved more. The line between pain and pleasure is so fine for me; I was shuddering for what seemed like ever even after he stopped tormenting them.  Hell, even a brush of the fingers makes me shudder now. My nipples are delightfully sore this morning, with the slightest touch of anything making them tingle. I’ve never had them be hard for this long before. While they are definitely sensitive enough to get a reaction, they’re never sensitive like this.

The burlesque last night was a tad bit disappointing. I don’t know what I expected, but I guess I was thinking there would be more singing and dancing. Instead, it was basically just strippers…and not even great ones, at that. The bar had a cool vibe, but the smoke was horrendous, and the noise got pretty loud. Not sure if I’d go back; maybe for a theme night, but that’s likely all.